Twas a clear, cold night in the west midlands. Temperatures had dropped to roughly -2 degrees. Chad got arrested, well, sort of. I ate a lot of food, well, sort of.

We did drink a lot - as per usual. So why would you want to read about two people called Chad who go out on a Friday night? You'll see...
     
 
Tonight was going to be another pub-crawl. We made our plans and decided to walk from Chad's house (In Tettenhall) up the Tettenhall Road and towards the centre of Wolverhampton stopping at every pub on the way.
First stop - The Newbridge. Conveniently placed next to a bridge, The Newbridge pub is large and spacious. This picture clearly displays Chad standing outside it.
Unfortunately, the flash on Chad's camera doesn't reach very far, which explains picture quality. I'd also like to thank Mr. Chad again for the use and abuse of his camera last night.
Anyway, I didn't get any pictures in here so it's off to the next pub...
     

A left turn and a right turn took us to The Newhampton pub. Playing tonight in here was 'Wreckless Eric' whoever he is. We didn't actually stop here long enough to find out and you also needed to buy tickets. No thanks.

The Newhampton was very busy (no doubt the locals were all there for ol' wreckless) so we only stopped for one pint. Besides, we were doing a 'pub-crawl' afterall.

 

This is another one of those 'pretend i'm taking a picture of chad while i'm really taking a picture of that guys amazing comb-over' moments.

I suspect we won't be going into The Newhampton again for fear of being killed by a guy with the world's longet comb-over after discovering I've put him on my site.

The next bar: Halfway House
A little walk up the road, (and funnily enough, halfway between Tettenhall and Wolverhampton) took us to the Halfway House. What was once a place for the local college students to hang out in the day and an old man's hangout at night has been transformed into a 'trendy' bar.

As I was trying to figure out what might make an interesting photo for in here, I discovered there was a Knob on the shelf. I asked the bartender to pass me his knob and he obliged with a smile. For those of you not laughing, 'knob' in many places in England means 'penis'. Just incase you wondered.
As you can see - Chad is holding the bartender's knob.

I felt that the bartender's knob looked more in-place cupped in my hands and held between my legs.

I've never had a bartender's knob in my hand before (apart from my own) and it felt hard and moist to the touch. Although I had only had a few pints, I was worried that I may drop his knob and it would break leaving it's contents splashed all over the floor. This would have been a very nasty and expensive experience. I handed the barman's knob back to him and he placed it back on the shelf.

I'm hoping to receive the 'web award for textual content' this year, but it probably won't happen.
 
The Combermere Arms was our next pub and situated in an area known as Chapel Ash just outside the City.
This pub is much like an actual house that's been converted. When you walk in, there is a little room to the right, one to the left and one at the back. It also has some nice features like a tree actually growing through the outside toilet and a nice little covered garden which you can sit outside in during the winter months. Nice.
 

This is the little room at the back. Here's chad looking very festive holding a pint and a small santa. Not a lot else to say here.

 

The food here is marvellous. I felt a bit peckish and ordered one of each from the menu.

I might be fat, but I'm not that fat. When we got to the back room, we discovered a plethora of food laid out before us. In the room with us were a group of people who looked like they had cycled there as they were wearing cycling stuff. They offered us some of the food but we refused as we had to concentrate on drinking.
 

Here are the cyclists or whoever they were.

A little while later, a guy in a suit joined them and started talking to them. I wasn't paying much attention to what they were saying and stumbled over, interrupted them with a "hello, i'm a bit pissed. Can I take a picture of you for my website?"

I have no idea why I asked them for a pic - it must have been a thought in my head at the time as a sort of tie-in pic for the one above. I later found out that the guy in the suit is an MP for Wolverhampton. Not sure how true this is - I was told by a pissed chad and he was told by somebody who was also very pissed...
 
If you ever need to find the Combermere Arms, drive around in Chapel Ash until you see this (it won't contain the Chad standing there though).
 

A few steps down the road is a kebab/pizza/fried rat sort of place called Turkish Delight. I can recall many a night spent here after all the bars closed in Wolverhampton and we wanted to hang out somewhere as teenagers. Even though the place is in completely the wrong direction for me to go home, we would always stop here for food before heading home.

My favourite bloke wasn't here so I decided to go for one of the other staff as my choice. Time was pressing on so we left here and went to our next destination, The Quadrant.
 
 

Whenever we're out, Chad has a habit of slapping his hands together as if spanking a girl on the arse. He does this either when he sees a fit bird or when he wants to demonstrate how he would slap a girl's arse.

Prior to this picture, Chad had slapped his hands together. Nothing unusual. We then heard a glass smash and looked on the floor. We then looked at the table and noticed his glass wasn't there. The ginger slapper had knocked his own pint on the floor. He had done it at such pace, he didn't even realise he'd knocked his own glass off. Tit. Anyway, to cut a short story longer, we pissed ourselves for ages and then took a photo of the barperson who had to clean up the mess. Luckily, we didn't get thrown out. This time...
     
 
We made a sharp exit for the door after the smashed glass incident, stopping quickly for a photo.
   

Somehow, word had spread in Wolverhampton that there was a ginger glass-smasher on the loose. This kind officer quickly apprehended him and gave him a jolly good telling off.

Chad didn't actually get arrested for smashing the glass - it was because he was ginger. Apparently, a new government ruling says that anybody that has the capability to grow ginger hair (in any region) and also the capability to turn pink after a day in the sun can be arrested on the spot. The new law was voted for after a government body discovered that ginger people smell like rotten tripe. There's no point me laughing though - a new order is going through the houses of parliament saying that fat people should be arrested for depleting the country's food stocks...
   

Due to the fact that Chad had been arrested, I went into shock and needed some comfort food. As you can see, I've been in shock a few times before.

Mr Sizzle - although fast and hot, it's not particularly healthy. This made me think and I changed my mind. I decided on the option of going to another bar and drinking myself to death.

Next bar: The Cuban Exchange
   

Oh my God. I can't believe Jeni Walker was in the same bar as me! I've been a fan of hers ever since I first met her.

What do you mean who is she? She's probably going to kill me for this but she used to sit next to me and blow. Obviously this took part in an orchestra and whilst I was playing the tuba, she was playing the trombone.

I do recall asking her to polish my bell on many an occasion, but to my disappointment, she would always decline. I made no more advances on her last night as she was with her boyfriend of 8 years, James - or Jambo as he used to be known as a young french horn player in the same orchestra.
   

Ok - so Chad wasn't really arrested but you knew that anyway didn't you?

Chad was as pleased to see jeni as I was.

   

The penultimate pic.

The two bouncers outside the cuban exchange. Chad knows Carl (on the left). He probably knows him from he gym, but I'm not sure who the other bouncer is.

This was our last destination before we headed home. It hadn't been a wild night in any way, just an 'average'. Still, I had a good time and have spent most of today feeling rather sick and tired. For some reason, I have developed a recent problem which involves me waking up at about 9am after a good session on the booze. Does this mean I'm going through the male menopause already?
   

And finally....

Knowing the night had come to an end, I grabbed some chips and curry sauce from a different Mr Sizzle than the one pictured above.

Another Friday night was over, we had both spent all of our cash and we didn't pull (well, Chad's not allowed to anyway). Until next time...
   
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