Two bouncers and a little lady.

It may be the angle of the photo, but if Emma is 6 foot tall, then the bouncer on the left is about the same height and Carl, on the right is actually 20 foot tall. Shouldn't he be playing basketball or something?

Chad the lurker.

Your average pissed night out. But wait! Who's that lurking in the background. I've got that concerned look again when somebody touches my camera. Maybe i'm a bit overprotective of it, but it did cost me a lot of money.

The gangbang.

He's lovin it. No - we hadn't got as far as McDonalds - we're still in the cuban exchange.

Chapel Ash, Wolverhampton.

I must of handed out a million cards on this night with the website address stamped all over it. I was even stopping people on their way home for a picture and was telling them it would be ready the day after. If you are reading this and this is you in the picture, then tell me your names by going into my forum.

Turkish Delight, Chapel Ash, Wolverhampton.

I've been eating here most of my life (can't you tell by the sizer of my gut?) and this bloke, whatever his name is the best. He always gives me extra chips for free and he's always got a smile on his face (makes you wonder what he's done to the chips).

I ordered a burger from here and then Danii consumed most of it. Bugger.

Aye aye, saveloy.

We crossed the road and visited another fast food joint for the sake of Danii and she got a kebab and chips. Looking at this I feel hungry again. "I'll take two fish and chips please"

The dwarfs.

I'm sorry, but how do these guys scare anybody when they're on the door? Emma scares me more. No - she's not on a box and they're not holding her up in any way.

The kebab.

Danii tucks into the kebab of choice and I'm still trigger happy with the camera, but it won't be long before I pass out.

Is it art?

Now I know why she uses dating sites...

OMG.

Emma discovers that her reflection in her phone isn't all that good.

The final countdown.

It was a long night and I knew that there were no more photos to be taken because I was about to die. Emma discovered that Danii had almost finished the kebab and me? I woke up this morning with a very bad head.

Thank you for tuning in.

Chad