When boredom sets in during the cold winter months, we find various ways to entertain ourselves. My way was to get married to my missus. I proposed, we arranged a date and of course, there had to be a stag do. Our drinking commenced at 10am, I was thrown in the swimming pool at around 4pm, we ski'd back to St. Martin (I was still soaked) and then five dutch girls stripped for me at around midnight. Of course, it wasn't a real wedding - it was just another excuse to get pissed. The carnage continues...
				31/03/2005 10:00hrs - Le Dahlia Bar/Restaurant The beginning of the end. We consumed a beer and a double genepi (a kind of lethal pure alcohol made from flowers) We then headed up the mountain and made our way down in stupid conditions. When I say stupid, it was snowing, foggy and you couldn't see where you were going so the chances of dying before we got to the second bar were pretty high.
	31/03/2005 13:09hrs - Cactus Bar, Meribel We'd had a fair few by now. Rob (far right) was already gone and the rest of us were on our way. Considering this was my stag do, I was a bit upset to see that everyone was looking so serious. Things soon changed when the chilli tequila arrived though...
				... Chilli Tequila. Man's best friend. The alcohol content is normal, but it feels like ten vindaloos in one shot. Nobody else would drink the shit, but hey - it was my stag do so I had to. The stuff is home made. Ingredients: Tequila, 30,000 chillis and maybe a bit of a shake. If I had the choice, I would never do it again. My lips, mouth and throat were burning for about an hour after.
	... something to wash it down with.
				Ahh, the joys of a stag do. Having convinced all of the female barstaff I was getting married, they posed for a photo. They later discovered it was all in the aid of getting pissed and would not supply us any free drinks. Rubbish. Next destination was Jacks Bar. Rumour had it that glamourous and fit women were employed there, so off we went.
	The Rumours were true. Alas, a beauty lies within grasp but I can only look and not touch. I forget her name but I think she was swedish. About 8 foot tall and a gorgeous figure. Anyway. I only noticed while putting this picture here that the words 'cock hour' were either side of her head. Maybe it was a gay bar. Actually, thinking about it, there were only men in there apart from the barmaids. Hmmmmm. We all ordered various shots and completed this bar experience with a pint of Mutzig. Apparently it's about 8.5% and things got pretty nasty from there onwards...
				15:47hrs - Meribel Outdoor Swimming Pool Luckily, before I was thrown in the pool, they took my camera off me. Everything else got soaked. Money, Phone - I had full ski gear on and my ski boots were full to the brim. The ski back was going to be interesting. Apart from that, the bastard kids were splashing me for about five minutes.
	16:55hrs - La Loy Restaurant, St. Martin We made it back - nearly. Just a quick drink on the way back. La Loy is about halfway down the mountain and you basically go there to get pissed whilst skiing. I was still soaking wet, cold and completely drunk. Another round of Genepi...
				19:16hrs - La Dahlia, St. Martin A quick pit-stop at the bottom of the slopes for another drink and some chef action. By this time, Phillip (The guy above, far right, father of Piano Bar Owner Simon) had apparently turned up to dinner late, cover from head to toe in mud and was absolutely shit faced. His wife Pam was not best pleased to say the least.
	21:08hrs - The Piano Bar, St. Martin Word had spread quite quickly around the village that 5 dutch girls were going to strip for me. Pictured here are the boys waiting in anticipation. I have never seen so many men this season rammed into such a small place. It was heaving! I reckon the Piano bar should be converted into a whorehouse - much more business and money to be made.
				21:19hrs I got smothered in squirty cream and fruit cocktail. Heaven. The girls didn't actually strip completely - just down to bikinis - but that was enough for me. The thing was though, I couldn't actually see anything cos they got cream in my eyes and it was all blurred. Oh well, the feeling of 5 birds running their hands all over my body was enough to make me..erm.. happy.
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