Idea One: Well, technically, this isn't an idea - it's gonna happen anyway. Basically I will be celebrating my birthday in a different country. As far back as I can remember, I haven't yet done this. I think. To be honest, the last 10yrs of birthdays doesn't actually reveal much in my memory. I remember having them, I just don't remember what happened (mental note: don't drink or record the event on camera)

Idea Two: Do something special. This can basically mean anything can't it? It's like when you get together with friends for a New Year's Celebration or something. You can spend hours or even days thinking of what to do special and end up in your local pub till you get kicked out. Doing something special would probably mean a trip to the moon or something. I'm not sure. Realistically, something special would be discovering you've just won a million quid, finding a 'magic' lamp with it's own personal genie trapped within or receiving a gift entitled 'understanding women'.

Idea Three: Get Drunk. This is probably the most realistic outcome for my birthday. As I have no 'official' plans to date, this would be the easy option. However, getting pissed may result in weight gain (my beer belly has indulged in it's habit for the past ten years), spending money, being sick (nearly every birthday), loss of memory and being sick again. On the plus side, I will have a good time, get free drinks, maybe even a free kebab to satisfy my gut.

Idea Four: A quiet weekend with the missus. Sarah will be visiting me when she gets back to europe from a months visit to her place of birth, Australia. Unfortunately, she managed to forget about my birthday completely whilst booking her flight and will be departing the day before it! She still feels really bad about this and has apologised no end. If you're reading this darlin, don't worry about it, i'm sure you'll spend many a birthday at my side! Anyway, as for the quiet weekend it's quite convenient really. She arrives on the friday before and leaves on the monday before. It would be less of a quiet and more of a dirty weekend I should imagine. Saying that, she could be cheating on me right now as I type this - she is halfway across the world - infact, she is on the other side of the world (mental note: send private detectives to ballarat in order to investigate sarah's goings-on and ex-boyfriends).

Idea Five: A meal for me and my mates. I think this one's been overdone hasn't it? This normally starts as a meal and ends up getting tied in with idea three.

Idea Six: Let someone else plan my birthday. Hmmmm. The last time I let someone else plan something for me, I ended up getting pissed, being thrown in an outdoor swimming pool in the french alps fully dressed, ski'd back to the village and then had five dutch girls strip for me! (See St. Martin: The Stag Do). It's certainly something different though. I've never actually had a 'birthday planner'. A surprise birthday would certainly do the trick, but who would be the planner?

Idea Seven: A trip for two on the Orient Express? I don't know. Get away for a while. Living in Marbella for six months was kind of like St. Martin and living in a village. Although the Costa Del Sol stretches for a couple of hundred kilometers, it still feels like the same place. Along the coast between Malaga and Marbella everything looks the same. Maybe a little getaway would be good for the spirit. We all suffered from mid-season blues in the village of St. Martin de Belleville, and some of us even had end of season blues! I think i'm suffering from end of season blues at the minute!

Idea Eight: My 'audience' has an idea. That's right guys and gals. If any of you have an idea that could be pulled off on my birthday (or preferably the weekend before Tues 1st November) then send me an email or leave a msg in my guestbook (to be found at the bottom of the 'home' page). The best emails or entries will get recognition on my site along with the prestigious reward of my personal thanks! Seriously, if you have any better ideas than me (realistic ones that don't involve the moon and lavishings of cash) then let me know!