The reason that this split is much different from the rest is that it wasn't dying or had been 'overdone'. What I mean is, we weren't bored of each other, we hadn't spent too much time together and it hadn't gone stale. The only rotten thing about it was that we never saw each other.

'They' were right - long distance relationships DON'T work. If plans were to continue, we wouldn't have seen each other for 6 months after her last visit and she wasn't sure that this would work between us. It is hard to continue a relationship when you are apart. Fair enough, if we'd been together for 10yrs and this was the first time apart, we would probably have no worries. We had been together for about 10 months and had spent 6 months apart. I guess it's not a good recipe.

Unfortunately for me, I fall in love as easy as I can eat 1kg of chocolate at christmas. Does heartbreak actually cause you any physical damage? Dunno. The thing with being dumped is not knowing what to do. You pace up and down, you automatically find things that remind you of your ex, you try and block things out and think of something else and for me, I tend to go out with a mate and talk about other stuff. Why does that happen?

Being dumped always comes as a shock - of course you're never going to expect it, but there were signs. In a phonecall a week before she arrived, Sarah told me 'not to worry about the 6 month period' we would have apart. Although tiny alarm bells were ringing in the back of my head, I never thought anything of it. Of course, she later told me that she had been thinking about it for a week and needed to 'discuss' what we would do.

By the time she had arrived, I guess within a couple of minutes of seeing me, she had made her own mind up. Blissfully unaware of what was going on, I continued being me (not always good when someone is making a decision about the relationship) and didn't find out until the day she left. I'm glad she told me when she did (even though the timing was bad the day before my birthday) because I'd have preferred not to find out via email, sms or by a phonecall (even worse, a dear john), which is what happened with my first love when she called me via phone to tell me it was all over!

At the moment, I do still love her and miss her dearly. From experience, I'm sure this will fade as soon as I find out she has a new bloke, or she's shagged someone - or when I find a new bird and when I shag someone! Whatever happens, I would like to remain a close friend with her.

I've tried to write this without blame or insult. Sarah is not a 'bitch' or anything else - she's just a person that changed her mind. (If you're reading this Sarah, then I'm sorry I had to spill our relationship all over my site, but to me, it's therapy and things seem more clear now that i've written it). I guess that it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe the fake wedding we had in St. Martin doomed our relationship? Maybe I should remain single for the rest of my life? I'm sure something will come along to raise my eyebrow - it always does.

Anyway, I'd like to be the first to thank you Sarah for the good times we had and I will never forget them: New Year's Kiss, Your room and the unoccupied bed, Brewski's office, Zane's bed, the walk down the thames and finally, being stranded in Gibraltar.

And I close another chapter in the book of the unplanned journey...

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