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I was fed up with getting emails from various dating agencies across the planet and thought 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I've also always wondered if they actually work. I have never met anyone in my life who has met through an agency. You see a lot of it on tv, but I don't actually know anybody. Also, I had the perfect opportunity to conduct this experiment as I am currently single! If this works, then chances are I won't be single but we'll see. Before you go thinking that the Chad has lost all pulling capabilities, I haven't. I admit, I haven't been that bothered in looking for a woman since my ex dumped me and I ain't too keen on having a relationship. I am genuinely intrigued to see if a bloke like me has any chance by using an online agency. Now - on with the experiment. |
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Where do you begin? What do you need and how do you go about it? To start off in the world of online dating, you will need: a)
access to a computer connected to the internet somehow. |
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Where do I start? To begin with, I opened up my browser and did a search. I typed in 'dating' and picked the first relevant link. This was my first choice: It boasted over 3 million members so surely it wouldn't be hard to find true love here! I did all the usual stuff - add a photo, age, height, build - you know. I also wanted to know that if they have over 3 million members (that's 3,000,000) why my membership account number was 5222847? Surely they should say they have over 5 million? Then comes the bit about yourself. It suggests that you type it and then read it back as if you were somebody else looking at it. How the hell are you supposed to do that? Have an out-of-body experience or something? In the end, I just typed this and hoped for the best (I was limited to 1000 characters): So where do you begin? With only space for 1000 characters it's pretty tough to describe yourself don't you think? Anyway, in summary: I'm looking for the most important thing in life - a smile. Any woman that can make me smile is a must. I don't mean dressing up as a cucumber and running down the street yelling obscenities (although, I would love to see this happen one day), I mean you know, just funny stuff. If you think you can manage to put a smile on my face, then let me know. If you also like big cuddly teddy bears, then you can also apply here. If you want to go out for a pub-crawl then apply here. How many words are left?... I know, I know. Pretty crap. But this was my first effort and I can only get better! Who knows? Some ladies out there might like the weird-internet-loving cucumber fetish men out there. Anyway. I'm sure it will get better with future applications.
With all of the dating sites, you need to wait before your photo is uploaded and it needs to be checked and approves by a member of their staff. It should be up there within a few days hopefully. Just to show you - this was the pic I uploaded: |
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Ok, so I was never going to score any points on attraction, but maybe on the 'scared look scale' maybe? Moving on... |
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My next application was here: Match.com claim to 'make love happen'. Now you can call me what you want, but I don't think you can 'make love happen'. Perhaps with money, yes. But then all that person loves is the money, and not the person. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe love happens for a reason. Either that or it is a short-term hormonal imbalance in one's body. Either way, you can't 'make' it happen. Secondly - match.com say "We guarantee you'll find someone special within 6 months. Don't wait. Make Love Happen now." - I don't think so. Imagine this: You are, say, 40yrs old. You are a virgin. You have lived with your over-posessive mumsy all your life. You spend all day in front of your computer and are unemployed. You suffer from premature ejaculation and you can't get rid of your teenage acne. You are also 25 stone in weight and a manic depressive. You have no self-confidence and have chosen this site that claims you WILL find someone special. I hope this site has good lawyers. Anyway, fancying my chances against my made-up character, I signed in. Now this site is a bit more specific. Usual details: Age, star sign, height, build. When you got to the bits about yourself, it had this: What do you do for fun? So I put this (remember, a 250 character limit on each section): I enjoy experiencing new things. I like to think I have achieved a lot of things in my life already and am constantly trying to do more stuff! Here are a couple of things: Parachute jumps, skiing, learning a new language, eating new food etc Favourite Local Hotspots or Travel Destinations? So I put this: I have spent most of my life travelling and have come to the decision that there's no place like home. It turns out that Dorothy was right in the Wizard of OZ. Where have I always wanted to go? Space. Next up: Favourite Things: Cycling, Skiing, Blue (the colour), Ben Elton books, Socialising, Travel, Adventure, The Great Outdoors, Interaction, Any Music (except baroque), Aerobie, Fine Foods, Cuddling and horizontal jogging and 'What's the last thing I read': The last thing I read was the instructions on what to type in this box. Prior to this, I read a book called "Don't tell mum I work on the rigs - she thinks i'm a piano player in a whorehouse" It then goes on to ask about stuff i'm interested in with a few tickboxes. I ticked a few and got on with it. After about 5 minutes, I finally get to the describe yourself bit. This time round, I get 2000 characters worth of space! Here goes: If
you are reading this you are obviously interested in a stunning guy
with chubby cheeky cheeks and a gorgeous face. I know this because you
have clicked on my picture. Now this isn't the only intelligence I own.
I also know that you can't judge a book by it's cover so here's a bit
about me. About me? Well I think everything has been described in the other sections. I'm more interested in you. I can't really describe my ideal woman as they have all been different. I like to try new things in life so if you just fancy meeting up for a drink sometime then I would happily agree! I like to meet new people and make new friends so any opportunity is never wasted! If you like what you see then send me a message! Cheers chuck Chadchud All done! It took about 15 minutes for this one. |
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This page would be massive if I described EVERY site I registered on! To increase my chances with this experiment, I'm going to try and register on as many as I can before I die of boredom. What concerns me though is the number of single women in Wolverhampton! Well, maybe some of them aren't single and just looking for a bit of fun, but anyway. Here's the others i'm registered on: http://uk.personals.yahoo.com/ http://www.dating.com - this one is a bit america orientated and when I searched, it came up with matches in cairo, london and bristol! I don't do long distance relationships anymore! http://www.friendsreuniteddating.co.uk/ Ok - I'm pretty bored now of filling in forms and typing out stuff. If I do join any more, I'll post it on here. |
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| As for results? It's not going to happen overnight I'm sure (it may never happen), but keep checking back to see if I have any luck! I've asked each site to notify me via email of any matches so i'll put those here as well! | ||
Results of experiment: 17th December 2005 - I have received a message from 'Claire': Hi Chad, ur profile made me chuckle, therefore you deserve a reply! have a read of mine, let me know ur thoughts... Claire I replied, probably not very well though, she's not sent one back yet! The thing that really pissed me off though was the fact I had to pay to read my message from claire. There were a few options (none of which I particularly liked) so I went for the 3 day option for £4.95 - a bit of a waste of money if you ask me, but there you go. All in the name of true love... Check back soon for more updates! |
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